The Quest for Girlyness: Makeup Part 1

You may have read that I recently received a massage at Enve. While we were there we saw a sign up for a “Girls Night Out”. It promised to be an entertaining night of makeup demonstrations from the Bare Minerals collection. I had told my mom about my new quest for girlyness, in not so strange of a way, so when she saw the noticed she pointed it at it and said, “This is what you wanted isn’t it? To learn how to put on makeup?” She looked up at the lady behind the desk and told her we were going to show up. I was a little worried, but it is one of the things that I wanted to learn along the way.

So, on to the next adventure: Makeup, Lesson 1

To be fair, I do know the basics of makeup. Foundation goes down first. You work on your eyes in one color or multiple colors, then ther eye liner and mascara. Lips involve lip liner and lipstick or gloss. Is this rocket science, no, it’s fucking makeup and just because I know what it is and where it goes doesn’t mean I know how to do it properly. It doesn’t help that I have a terrible self image and when I wear makeup, I feel like a rusty car that’s been spray panted. I feel like I look worse than when I started and only highlighted the things I was trying to hide. Not to mention, when I was little and in dance classes, I learned how to put on stage makeup. We’re talking Toddlers and Tiaras, but more broke street walker-ish. Clearly, this isn’t a good place to start from when learning how to look like a normal person. Add to that the fact that Chad likes me better without makeup.

So tonight was the big night. I showed up with my mom, who drove straight from work at the factory. We took our seats, along with five other women. Before things got started, I saw the most immaculate looking punch bowl with limes floating in it. Punch is one of my favorite things, and there were cookies. Of course, I’m not eating anything because I’m on a diet. I looked at the punch, remembered that I was going to have to cram myself in a dress and mingle with other wedding guests mostly unattended come October, and remained strong. I better be a 12 by the time October rolls around or that punch will haunt me.

The woman from bare Minerals welcomes us and gives us a quick rundown about the products and why they’re so different. I’ve seen mineral makeups before, and I thought they were all hype. I can be cynical like that. She asked for a volunteer, and my mom quietly shouted at me to volunteer. Luckily, a woman sitting right in front put her hand up and our guest host pulled her up to a stool and asked her what kind of makeup she used. Turns out, this was a 50 something version of me. She uses soap and body lotion on her face and wears no makeup. I was glad she was up there, because she had been taken there by friends who wanted to see her made up. They even took a before picture.

We watched as the host explained a few care products and then launched into pack that the whole makeup party was selling, The Girlfriend Collection. It’s labeled as “7-pieces you can count on for eyes, cheeks and lips”. I should mention that three of the pieces are named in text message format, bff, kit, and ttyl. It was oddly amusing watching the host have the other women guess what they all meant as I was a good 15 years younger than anyone else there.

I watched as the host slowly made over her volunteer, an wasn’t very impressed with the foundation. I couldn’t tell it was there at all. Once she started on the eyes, I was able to see what was going on. It didn’t help that I was staring into the woman’s makeup light. Once the makeup demonstration was over, I could really see a big difference. I wasn’t sure I liked it a whole bunch, she looked great, but I thought the shadow might have been a little harsh for her. There was an after picture taken, and jokes about taking her out to find a man. I kind of sat the awkwardly, not really knowing what to do. The host told us that the girls from the salon were going to be available to answer our questions and show us samples.

A very nice girl came up to me and asked if I’d like to try something. I said yes, and she asked what, and I said, “I have no idea what I’m doing.”

So we started with foundation. She tested two colors on me before settling with Medium. She told me to look in the mirror, but I wasn’t really expecting much. It wasn’t like the other one had made a big difference on the other woman. I stood up, turned to the mirror, and was quickly forced to eat crow. I had never seen my skin so even and fresh. I think I said wow, but I was a little too in shock. She told me to sit down and applied Warmth, she said it was something that she used all the time and that it even worked as a bit of a bronzer. That was followed by Mineral Veil, and the most awesome shadow I’ve ever worn. I couldn’t believe how much the makeup had transformed my face. The only down side was the girl told me how nice the makeup covered up my blackheads. Not that it’s bad that it does, just that she told me I had them. Tonight, I will look up just what a blackhead is.

Mom had her makeup done as well, and while she didn’t like her shadow, we each got a starter foundation kit, and I got the Girlfriend Collection. They were sold out the the shadow, but I’ll have another chance to pick it up. While I was talking with the nice lady, my mom talked to the woman who booked our massages. Mom told her about how I wanted to learn how to do make up correctly, and as we checked out, I had an appointment made for a 60 minute facial and a makeup lesson. There was a 30 minute option, but if I have blackheads, well we should do all the work on me that we can. It looks like my adventures are just getting started.

You may have read that I recently received a massage at Enve. While we were there we saw a sign up for a “Girls Night Out”. It promised to be an entertaining night of makeup demonstrations from the Bare Minerals collection. I had told my mom about my new quest for girlyness, in not so strange of a way, so when she saw the noticed she pointed it at it and said, “This is what you wanted isn’t it? To learn how to put on makeup?” She looked up at the lady behind the desk and told her we were going to show up. I was a little worried, but it is one of the things that I wanted to learn along the way.

 

So, on to the next adventure: Makeup, Lesson 1

 

To be fair, I do know the basics of makeup. Foundation goes down first. You work on your eyes in one color or multiple colors, then there eye liner and mascara. Lips involve lip liner and lipstick or gloss. Is this rocket science, no, it’s fucking makeup and just because I know what it is and where it goes doesn’t mean I know how to do it properly. It doesn’t help that I have a terrible self image and when I wear makeup, I feel like a rusty car that’s been spray panted. I feel like I look worse than when I started and only highlighted the things I was trying to hide. Not to mention, when I was little and in dance classes, I learned how to put on stage makeup. We’re talking Toddlers and Tiaras, but more broke street walker-ish. Clearly, this isn’t a good place to start from when learning how to look like a normal person. Add to that the fact that Chad likes me better without makeup.

 

So tonight was the big night. I showed up with my mom, who drove straight from work at the factory. We took our seats, along with five other women. Before things got started, I saw the most immaculate looking punch bowl with limes floating in it. Punch is one of my favorite things, and there were cookies. Of course, I’m not eating anything because I’m on a diet. I looked at the punch, remembered that I was going to have to cram myself in a dress and mingle with other wedding guests mostly unattended come October, and remained strong. I better be a 12 by the time October rolls around or that punch will haunt me.

 

The woman from bare Minerals welcomes us and gives us a quick rundown about the products and why they’re so different. I’ve seen mineral makeups before, and I thought they were all hype. I can be cynical like that. She asked for a volunteer, and my mom quietly shouted at me to volunteer. Luckily, a woman sitting right in front of our guest host pulled her up to a stool and asked her what kind of makeup she used. Turns out, this was a 50 something version of me. She uses soap and body lotion on her face and wears no makeup. I was glad she was up there, because she had been taken there by friends who wanted to see her made up. They even took a before picture.

 

We watched as the host explained a few care products and then launched into pack that the whole makeup party was selling, The Girlfriend Collection. It’s labeled as “7-pieces you can count on for eyes, cheeks and lips”. I should mention that three of the pieces are named in text message format, bff, kit, and ttyl. It was oddly amusing watching the host have the other women guess what they all meant as I was a good 15 years younger than anyone else there.

 

I watched as the host slowly made over her volunteer, an wasn’t very impressed with the foundation. I couldn’t tell it was there at all. Once she started on the eyes, I was able to see what was going on. It didn’t help that I was staring into the woman’s makeup light. Once the makeup demonstration was over, I could really see a big difference. I wasn’t sure I liked it a whole bunch, she looked great, but I thought the shadow might have been a little harsh for her. There was an after picture taken, and jokes about taking her out to find a man. I kind of sat the awkwardly, not really knowing what to do. The host told us that the girls from the salon were going to be available to answer our questions and show us samples.

 

A very nice girl came up to me and asked if I’d like to try something. I said yes, and she asked what, and I said, “I have no idea what I’m doing.”

 

So we started with foundation. She tested two colors on me before settling with Medium. She told me to look in the mirror, but I wasn’t really expecting much. It wasn’t like the other one had made a big difference on the other woman. I stood up, turned to the mirror, and was quickly forced to eat crow. I had never seen my skin so even and fresh. I think I said wow, but I was a little to in shock. She told me to sit down and applied Warmth, she said it was something that she used all the time and that it even worked as a bit of a bronzer. That was followed by Mineral Veil, and the most awesome shadow I’ve ever worn. I couldn’t believe how much the makeup had transformed my face. The only down side was the girl told me how nice the makeup covered up my blackheads. Not that it’s bad that it does, just that she told me I had them. Tonight, I will look up just what a blackhead is.

 

Mom had her makeup done as well, and while she didn’t like her shadow, we each got a starter foundation kit, and I got the Girlfriend Collection. They were sold out the the shadow, but I’ll have another chance to pick it up. While I was talking with the nice lady, my mom talked to the woman who booked our massages. Mom told her about how I wanted to learn how to do make up correctly, and as we checked out, I had an appointment made for a 60 minute facial and a makeup lesson. There was a 30 minute option, but if I have blackheads, well we should do all the work on me that we can. It looks like my adventures are just getting started.

You may have read that I recently received a massage at Enve. While we were there we saw a sign up for a “Girls Night Out”. It promised to be an entertaining night of makeup demonstrations from the Bare Minerals collection. I had told my mom about my new quest for girlyness, in not so strange of a way, so when she saw the noticed she pointed it at it and said, “This is what you wanted isn’t it? To learn how to put on makeup?” She looked up at the lady behind the desk and told her we were going to show up. I was a little worried, but it is one of the things that I wanted to learn along the way.

So, on to the next adventure: Makeup, Lesson 1

To be fair, I do know the basics of makeup. Foundation goes down first. You work on your eyes in one color or multiple colors, then there eye liner and mascara. Lips involve lip liner and lipstick or gloss. Is this rocket science, no, it’s fucking makeup and just because I know what it is and where it goes doesn’t mean I know how to do it properly. It doesn’t help that I have a terrible self image and when I wear makeup, I feel like a rusty car that’s been spray panted. I feel like I look worse than when I started and only highlighted the things I was trying to hide. Not to mention, when I was little and in dance classes, I learned how to put on stage makeup. We’re talking Toddlers and Tiaras, but more broke street walker-ish. Clearly, this isn’t a good place to start from when learning how to look like a normal person. Add to that the fact that Chad likes me better without makeup.

So tonight was the big night. I showed up with my mom, who drove straight from work at the factory. We took our seats, along with five other women. Before things got started, I saw the most immaculate looking punch bowl with limes floating in it. Punch is one of my favorite things, and there were cookies. Of course, I’m not eating anything because I’m on a diet. I looked at the punch, remembered that I was going to have to cram myself in a dress and mingle with other wedding guests mostly unattended come October, and remained strong. I better be a 12 by the time October rolls around or that punch will haunt me.

The woman from bare Minerals welcomes us and gives us a quick rundown about the products and why they’re so different. I’ve seen mineral makeups before, and I thought they were all hype. I can be cynical like that. She asked for a volunteer, and my mom quietly shouted at me to volunteer. Luckily, a woman sitting right in front of our guest host pulled her up to a stool and asked her what kind of makeup she used. Turns out, this was a 50 something version of me. She uses soap and body lotion on her face and wears no makeup. I was glad she was up there, because she had been taken there by friends who wanted to see her made up. They even took a before picture.

We watched as the host explained a few care products and then launched into pack that the whole makeup party was selling, The Girlfriend Collection. It’s labeled as “7-pieces you can count on for eyes, cheeks and lips”. I should mention that three of the pieces are named in text message format, bff, kit, and ttyl. It was oddly amusing watching the host have the other women guess what they all meant as I was a good 15 years younger than anyone else there.

I watched as the host slowly made over her volunteer, an wasn’t very impressed with the foundation. I couldn’t tell it was there at all. Once she started on the eyes, I was able to see what was going on. It didn’t help that I was staring into the woman’s makeup light. Once the makeup demonstration was over, I could really see a big difference. I wasn’t sure I liked it a whole bunch, she looked great, but I thought the shadow might have been a little harsh for her. There was an after picture taken, and jokes about taking her out to find a man. I kind of sat the awkwardly, not really knowing what to do. The host told us that the girls from the salon were going to be available to answer our questions and show us samples.

A very nice girl came up to me and asked if I’d like to try something. I said yes, and she asked what, and I said, “I have no idea what I’m doing.”

So we started with foundation. She tested two colors on me before settling with Medium. She told me to look in the mirror, but I wasn’t really expecting much. It wasn’t like the other one had made a big difference on the other woman. I stood up, turned to the mirror, and was quickly forced to eat crow. I had never seen my skin so even and fresh. I think I said wow, but I was a little to in shock. She told me to sit down and applied Warmth, she said it was something that she used all the time and that it even worked as a bit of a bronzer. That was followed by Mineral Veil, and the most awesome shadow I’ve ever worn. I couldn’t believe how much the makeup had transformed my face. The only down side was the girl told me how nice the makeup covered up my blackheads. Not that it’s bad that it does, just that she told me I had them. Tonight, I will look up just what a blackhead is.

Mom had her makeup done as well, and while she didn’t like her shadow, we each got a starter foundation kit, and I got the Girlfriend Collection. They were sold out the the shadow, but I’ll have another chance to pick it up. While I was talking with the nice lady, my mom talked to the woman who booked our massages. Mom told her about how I wanted to learn how to do make up correctly, and as we checked out, I had an appointment made for a 60 minute facial and a makeup lesson. There was a 30 minute option, but if I have blackheads, well we should do all the work on me that we can. It looks like my adventures are just getting started.

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  1. #1 by Joshua on January 27, 2011 - 5:13 AM

    You’re awesome. 🙂

  2. #2 by Andrew on January 27, 2011 - 11:54 AM

    So you found something you liked, YAY!!!!!! Glad to hear…. the quest is having some successes that include swag of some kind…. even if you did pay to get it.

  3. #3 by Joshua on January 27, 2011 - 4:13 PM

    uhh… wedding in October? Not yours, I hope. I’d be pissed if you got married and didn’t tell me 🙂

    • #4 by Christa on January 27, 2011 - 6:26 PM

      Like I’m getting anytime married soon…

      • #5 by Joshua on January 27, 2011 - 6:29 PM

        Hey, it could happen!

  4. #6 by Phillip on January 27, 2011 - 11:56 PM

    Meh, I wouldn’t worry about blackheads. I know I have a shit-ton of them, and I didn’t realize you did.

    And yay for being a guy. The most I need to worry about are shaving, haircuts, and apparently trimming/waxing my eyebrows.

    BTW, keep up with these. They’re pretty fun to read.

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