Weekly Stickies

MUST…CONVERT…DATA…

The coffee this morning smells like pipe smoke.

I wonder if anyone’s ever tried loading a thermos in place of an artillery shell?

I work with real winners:  A dude was standing there reading a magazine, while his styrofoam cup full of coffee melted into a puddle on the hot plate.

“Are you an energetic, results-oriented individual who desires to be part of a team?”  WTF???  What does that even mean?  Who would say, “No, I’m lazy, antisocial, and I don’t give a rat’s ass about results as long as the process is followed?”  This is why I hate management-speak.  It’s all empty bullshit.

http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2001-01-25/

They really do.  Did I mention I hate laptop keyboards?

Lol – an outside sales rep just said “We can’t do that!  That’s extortion!” Fnord.

http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2001-01-07/

I’m pretty sure that’s Chad’s excuse.

People in high school used to call Karen a yeti.  For some reason, they made Wookiee noises, though.  Not that I’d know what a yeti sounds like anyway.  I used to get upset at them for making fun of her.  But it didn’t seem to bother her any.  And she did end up dumping me for someone who called her names a lot.  Maybe I should walk around insulting random women and see if they follow me home?

LOL.  Some lady just said “That’s on a no-need basis.”  I think she meant, “need to know,” but the way she said it was probably more correct.

http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2000-02-10/

LOL @ Dogbert – this is totally something that Chad would say!

http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2000-02-23/

And Chad is the PHB in that one.

http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2000-03-18/

Sometimes I think that Chad is perhaps Scott Adams’ secret love child.

http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2000-07-22/

I wonder if supervillains ever wonder about their tech falling into the “wrong hands.”  From their standpoint, superheroes would be the “wrong hands” but from everyone else’s standpoint, the supervillain inventor would be the “wrong hands.”

Lol – a PM just asked “Who’s <Full Official Name of Company That’s Almost Never Used> Bill Pay Conversions?”  One of the conversion analysts said, “I think that’s us.”  The PM said, “Oh.  I didn’t know <Major Investment Firm> owned us this week.”

It helps to know that the company I’m working for is mostly known by an abbreviation that has nothing to do with its full name (which includes the name of the major investment firm that owns us), like how AMTRAK stands for National Passenger Rail Corporation.

I’m clearly insane:  A PM just said “Honk Honk!  Here’s the info you need to set up my hip.”

WTF?

Huh.  I suddenly want overcooked pancakes.  I don’t think I’m pregnant.  Maybe it has to do with the coffee?

A binary ghost says 101100000000.  An octal ghost says 5400. A decimal ghost says 2816.  A hexadecimal ghost says B00!

“Innovation, innovate, and the concept of doing what everyone else did 20 years ago are registered trademarks of Microsoft Corporation. Other buzzwords, euphemisms, and blatant lies are trademarks of their respective owners.” – James Simmons

http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1998-09-12/

I think Chad learned everything from Dogbert.

Meatballs in grape jelly, white wine, and ketchup.  WTF?

http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1998-02-09/

Replace fortune with fortune | cowsay in login files.

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