No, not the kind that are made of logic and infect silicon-based tech, but the kind that are made of protein and infect carbon-based lifeforms.
It’s the icky kind of abdominal digestive virus that causes all sort of badness. I went to the doc today. Here’s my narrative:
I had a 9:10 appointment. I sign in and the waiting room is mostly empty. Soon after I sign in, TONS of families with school-age children come pouring through the doors with puke pails and bags in hand. It seems that all the kids have this virus too. I sit until 9:35 with lots of kids puking and either mental or physical stimulus caused me to become very nauseous. So I went out to the bathrooms in the hall and the m en’s room was already occupied by a fat guy puking. So I went in the ladies’ room and retched a few times but didn’t actually vomit. I remembered to wash my hands after gripping the underside of the toilet seat. After I felt better, I went back into the waiting room and sat another 10 minutes before the ladycalled me. As soon as she called me, I began to feel nauseous again.
She weighed me and took my temperature and such and put me in a room. At that point my nausea reached critical levels and I slumped over the chair so she could get my pulse and blood pressure. After a few seconds of trying to take my pulse, I lunged for the sink and retched another two times but again didn’t vomit.
I collapsed on the floor in front of the sink and all the nurse lady could say was, “Sir, I need you in the chair so I can take your pulse and blood pressure.” After that got done, she gave me a bottle of water and a bucket and let me lay down in the bed. After a few more waves of nausea, I got a bad one and, forgetting that I had the bucket, went for the sink again.
I didn’t wretch this time, just gagged a bit and collapsed on the floor again. At that point, the doc came in. He saw me on the floor, chuckled, turned around, and came back in with a needle, stuck me in the arm, and within 15-20 seconds, the nausea was totally gone. It was amazing!
He said that it’s easier to examine a patient who isn’t in such digestive distress. The drug he gave me was Tigan, an anti-nausea drug. After the exam, he concluded that I had the same intestinal virus that everyone else had. He have me a take-home prescription for an anti-nausea drug and said that it should get better in 3-5 days.
I felt groggy this morning (Tigan causes drowsiness) but I feel pretty good now, except for the stomach cramps. The Advil’s got the fever down, I ate lunch fine, and I hope to be back to work tomorrow.
So that was my day. It kinda sucked but I’m getting better.