The UNIX Stereotype

I swear I met him today.  As I was leaving work early due to reasons I’ll explain below, I met a man who looked exactly like this.  I took little notice of him.  Then I smelled the unmistakable aroma of The Dream Castle Tobacco Company’s Burley and Black – the signature blend of Walgreen’s store brand pipe tobacco.  I immediately asked him if he was a programmer.  He said that he was.  I asked him what languages and he said “Java.”  I didn’t have to ask if he was a UNIX dude.  The suspenders, beard, and pipe smell told me that.

Anyway, I left work early for four reasons:

  1. My packages all deployed last night with 0 errors and the clients hadn’t complained as of noon.
  2. Package control was on redeploy only so people could fix things that didn’t deploy correctly last night and no new packages could be created.
  3. Things were pants-shittingly bad for everyone else in the office.
  4. The power was out.

#4 wasn’t really a problem because we all had laptops and the servers and LAN were on generator power.  The only things that were lacking were lights and air conditioning.

#1 I’m pretty proud of.  My two 8/28 packages deployed into the Readiness environment with one error that was actually a system glitch that was fixed before I even got into work this morning.  My six 9/11 packages deployed into unit testing with 0 errors.  Around noon, an observant brand consultant caught that one of her brands was missing support contact info and e-mailed it to me.  I make the change package to update the records and ran it against the unit testing database with no errors.

#3 had no impact on me, it has to do with a bank that’s becoming a different bank tomorrow.  All the work that our systems handle for those banks needs to continue flowing with zero customer impact.  The programmers had all of it figured out and yesterday they had everything all set.  During the simulation this morning, they encountered a big red screaming problem in that one of their basic assumptions was incorrect and 100% of their procedure and code was useless and needs to be redone (about two weeks’ of work for a 12 person team) before 7 PM Saturday night when the bank merger actually goes into effect.  Unfortunately, my boss is also their boss, even though their work and mine are in two very different product lines.


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