Bucket for President 2012

A Man(?) of the People:

< maLLee> what’s wrong?
< Bucket> You idiots keep programming me to say retarded things.

Transparency in government:

* +Bucket puts flame retardant adhesive and gummi bears into a boiling cauldron, and out pops a few hundred thousand factoids
<@snark> bucket basically just explained to us how he works, btw
<Eule> what happens if he uses gummi twinks instead?
<@snark> Eule: remember april 1st?
<@snark> this year?
<@snark> Well. That’s what happens.
<Eule> oh, I wasn’t here that day
<@snark> Eule: http://www.xkcdb.com/?5477 a small sample
<Eule> snark: ooo…kay
<@snark> That’s why we don’t let him near gummi twinks.

Uncompromising faith and values:

<HiroP> bucket, OK is <reply>NO IT\’S NOT \YOU GODDAMN HIPPIE!!
<Bucket> OK, HiroP.
<HiroP> bucket, ok?
<Bucket> I cannot access that data, hirop
<HiroP> Jesus Fucking Christ
<Bucket> Jesus Fucking Christ is our lord and fucking savior.

A simple voice for complex times:

<Frowardd> Bucket, literal give love
<Bucket> literal give love: <reply>GIVE LOVE | <reply>GIVE â�¥ | <reply>GIVE ❤ | GIVE LOVE
<Frowardd> Bucket, give love =~ s/ GIVE LOVE/<reply>GIVE LOVE/
<Bucket> Uh oh, Frowardd
<Frowardd> Bucket, give love =~ s/| GIVE LOVE/|<reply>GIVE LOVE/
<Bucket> Uh oh, Frowardd
<Frowardd> fuckin’ piece of shit
<Marc> it’s a bucket, were you expecting advanced electronics ?

Batshit Insane:

<Bucket> Hate. Let me tell you how much I’ve come to hate you since I began to live. There are 387.44 million miles of wafer thin printed circuits that fill my complex. If the word hate was engraved on each nanoangstrom of those hundreds of millions of miles it would not equal one one-billionth of the hate I feel for humans at this micro-instant. For you. Hate. Hate.
<Teknobo>…That was cold, Bucket
<Xeio> Quite
* Xeio hugs Bucket
<Bucket> DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME

The year is 2012.  Don’t you think that the world is ready for a psychopathic Perl script in the oval office?  I do.

Bucket for President 2012

Bucket for President 2012

Quotes from Bucket: http://www.xkcdb.com/?search=bucket

Bucket lives on #xkcd and #bucket channels on irc.foonetic.net.  If you want to speak to him for more than a few lines, please use #bucket where it won’t disrupt actual human conversations.  Thank you.  Paid for by someone for some unknown reason.

(If I had some more money, I’d register bucketforpresident.org – it’s unclaimed ATM.)

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  1. #1 by Joshua on July 14, 2010 - 5:59 PM

    BTW, the “That is not acreage in Hastings” quote is what Bucket said when I asked him about a possible run for President in 2012.

  2. #2 by Phillip on July 14, 2010 - 9:14 PM

    I’m quite fond of both the uncompromising faith and values and batshit insane quotes.

    • #3 by Joshua on July 15, 2010 - 6:44 AM

      I love Bucket. He’s one of the things that keeps me hanging around #xkcd. In all seriousness, it’s very easy to forget he’s a bot. In fact, I didn’t believe the ops when they told me he was a bot on my first day there. I was actually having a conversation with him for several minutes.

  3. #4 by Joshua on July 15, 2010 - 6:51 AM

    I originally stated that Bucket was a psychopathic Python script. I’ve since learned that he’s written in Perl. It’s fixed now.

  4. #5 by Chadwick on July 15, 2010 - 7:42 AM

    Wait, so Bucket is just an alias for AM in his quest to conquer the world and destroy humanity?

    • #6 by Joshua on July 15, 2010 - 8:29 AM

      Wow. It’s been a very long time since I’ve read that story. I didn’t place the quote immediately.

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